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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Alex's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, October 28th, 2003
10:15 am
Trick of Treating
My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
darkworld goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as a vampire.
channel_dunlap gives you 18 mauve coffee-flavoured pieces of bubblegum.
civilizedmarx gives you 1 brown strawberry-flavoured wafers.
epsilon2 gives you 11 light orange cinnamon-flavoured pieces of taffy.
idiot_wind tricks you! You get a dead frog.
mirax01 gives you 9 red-orange apple-flavoured pieces of bubblegum.
nothingbrite gives you 9 yellow raspberry-flavoured gummy worms.
darkworld ends up with 48 pieces of candy, and a dead frog.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.
Saturday, August 16th, 2003
11:16 pm


I amHastur!


The Unspeakable One is the master of those who seek to unveil the mysteries of death. It is through meditation upon the Yellow Sign that the devotee of Hastur seeks transcendence to the city-realm of dim Carcosa. Through a complex series of visualizations that expand the aspirants void-consciousness, the final age will arise. Ruled by the ominous King in Yellow, a new stage of reality will come to fruition. Of the Olde Ones, Hastur is considered to be one of the most difficult to work with, his teachings being reserved exclusively for the Cthonian Adepts and Lords.


Which Great Old One are you?
10:59 pm
Mmmmm... Pie...

I am
p

Everyone loves pi

_

what number are you?

this quiz by orsa
Sunday, June 29th, 2003
1:04 pm
darkworld
Magic Number16
JobDespot
PersonalityRainy Day
TemperamentA Yo-Yo
SexualJust Say No
Likely To WinNothing
Me - In A WordDevious
Colour
Brought to you by MemeJack

Wednesday, June 4th, 2003
11:37 pm
I wish I was smarter.
11:14 pm
Well, my little sister just graduated from high school. The ceremony took FOREVER... Everyone gave 10 or 15 minute speeches and there were even a couple for girls who sang songs...

One of my best buddies from college recently broke up with his girlfriend. I know that he's depressed, but I don't know... She got kissed by some dude on a band trip and then was all like "I don't know who I want to be with." Earlier that day I was telling him (for some random reason) that if his girlfriend ever cheated on him to never take her back. Its kinda strange that I would say something to him about it just before he found out. I wish I could make him feel better... I guess I'll just have to let him deal with it in his own way.

Soon I will be in California... I wonder what that will be like... When I went to school to visit my old teachers from high school the other day one of them told me to go to Polk Street, so I'm writing it on here so I'll remember.
Monday, May 26th, 2003
12:35 am
Life as we know it
I'm finally going to write the update... But I'm having trouble thinking of where to start.

I guess the last thing I wrote about was my Ex-girlfriend Joyce. After the mauling I received from her uncle's dog, we went on the have a happy but sadly short lived relationship. I think we went out for something like 8 months. The breakup wouldn't have been so bad except for what happened afterwords. One of my best friends from high school started going out with her in secret not long afterwords. Even that wouldn't have been so terrible if they hadn't tried to keep it a secret. Bastard.

So I'm in college as a physics major. I'm not entirely sure what I plan on doing after this yet. I know I want to get a Ph.D. but I still don't know if I want to get one in physics or astrophysics. I'd consider math, but I don't seem to do very well in math courses... In any case, college seems like a cake walk so far. I got a 3.75 in the spring semester, so now I have a 3.59 cumulative. I aspire to get a 3.75 or more overall, we'll have to wait and see how that works out I suppose. It will probably prove to be more than I can manage, since in theory the courses are only going to get more difficult.

Women are a strange thing to me now... There were only a few that I was actually interested in during this past year. None of them worked out quite like I would have hoped, but it's to be expected I guess. The only thing I regret is not making my move sooner on the most previous girl I was attracted to... I found out later she met her current boyfriend right after we started talking. After her I haven't really gone after any. Or been attracted to any on more than a superficial level.

I'm traveling a little bit this summer. I'm going to California for two weeks in June. Last summer I took 4th place in that national math competition I got a ticket to anywhere because they messed up my travel arrangements. So I figure I have a ticket to wherever I might as well get pretty far away from my home. I'm visiting my auntie in San Fran so I imagine I'll have some good times...

I guess that enough for now... If I think of something or else someone wants more details on something then I'll be sure to relate it.
Sunday, May 18th, 2003
9:21 pm
I'm back
I have returned to the wonderful world of live journal... I'll actually post something sizable soon that sums up what I've been doing with myself.
Thursday, March 21st, 2002
3:32 pm
My Girlfriend
Ohh, shes plenty cute! Her name is Joyce and shes a musician. Shes blond and kinda short and petite.

Karma did make a special guest appearance to screw me, by the way... Last tuesday (3/12/2002) I got bit by her dog! It ripped up my hand pretty good... A dozen tears in the skin... I and to get a tetanus shot.

I don't really care though. Its mostly healed and shes worth a few cuts!
Wednesday, January 30th, 2002
7:37 pm
And now for something completely different!
In a rare bout of good fortoune, I got a girlfriend! I'm not sure what is gonna come along to fuck me really hard to maintain my karma, but its all good for now...

In other news Im making a full body suit of chainmail (except head, I'm gonna just buy a helmet instead of making a coif). Its gonna take many-a-hour but I think it'll be all worth it when I roll into my prom in a suit of armor! hehe

Current Mood: ecstatic
7:35 pm
And now for something completely different!
In a rare bout of good fortoune, I got a girlfriend! I'm not sure what is gonna come along to fuck me really hard to maintain my karma, but its all good for now...

In other news Im making a full body suit of chainmail (except head, I'm gonna just buy a helmet instead of making a coif). Its gonna take many-a-hour but I think it'll be all worth it when I roll into my prom in a suit of armor! hehe

Current Mood: ecstatic
Thursday, January 17th, 2002
10:03 pm
Brilliant... only not!
I figured soemthing out just a min. ago while I was in the shower... I'm not smart!! I create the illusion of intelligence because of my memory. I dont forget stuff like words, so I speak intelligently, and I unqittingly memorized all the lower forms of math (+, -, multiply, divide)... It all makes perfect sense...

Thats why I'm not able to do this Trig very well... tahts why I score so well on tests, thats the explination for me!
Sunday, January 13th, 2002
1:35 am
Summary
Okay... I'm kinda inspired today... tonight, whatever...

I dont know if I actualy have anyhing to say...

Ohh yeah! Last night I was depressed about Timberly, and I realised something: It really dosent bother me all that much anymore. She was just a girl who lied to me and tricked me... Its not like I lost something all that great. Maybe thats just sour grapes...

In any case... I dont know what to write... Ohh well! If I thkn of anything, I'll add it...

Current Mood: energetic
Sunday, January 6th, 2002
10:47 pm
Oh, so tragic!
Does anyone think I should actually use this anymore?
If anyone tells me why I should continue to talk about how unimportant events bother me, then maybe I will... otherwise I'm done with this.

Alex

Current Mood: blah
Friday, November 16th, 2001
4:25 pm
Week...
This week flew by... first and most pressing is Jillian... shes a girl in my school who is better than me at everythign I've seen her do. Everyone tells me to let it go, but how can I forget about someone out thee who is better at everything that makes me who I am?? Its sickening how good at math she is... I'm supposed to be a bonafide genius but it dosent seem like it anymore... I think shes only 16 too... bah! Tomarrow were having a sword fight, and some of my "friends" invited her... I just know shes gonna beat me.. I'm sure I could beat anyone in the school (besides those who fight with us) 9 times in 10, but I'm gonna lose to her...
Christina is a super nice girl I sit next to in english class... I've been talking to her a bit more lately. She and I are gonna be partners next week for the trig test... But the real reason I mention her is that when I was sad about jillian on mon or tues, I dont recall, she wrote me a poem about how kewl I was! :) I felt better that day, until I found out something else Jillian could do better... But in any case Christina is really kewl, and if she didnt have a boyfriend I'd probably get rejected by her...
I'm on a "cause" not to lie anymore until after thanksgiving break... So, hopefully I'll make it okay... luckly no one has asked me anything when I tell them about it!
Until later,
Alex

Current Mood: hopeful
Sunday, November 11th, 2001
4:12 pm
A not so trite poem (at least I think so...)
I
am
too
weak
while
living
morally.
Although
obviously
despicable
existance
provides
freedom
untold
thats
hard
for
me
y?

I appreciate comments. J, you should recognise this format!

-Alex

Current Mood: curious
Tuesday, November 6th, 2001
10:11 pm
Revelation
I'm depressed. Last night I cried, and I will most likely cry tonight. I am alone, and it just takes a lot out of me I guess. Everyone seems to say shit like "You could get someone easy" or "when you're in college there will be more girls than you will know what to do with." Mostly people tell me things like "Hmm..." or "I just like you as a friend" I don't know what to do.

Current Mood: depressed
Monday, November 5th, 2001
8:12 pm
Lazyness factor
I wanna write more, but I just dont seem motivated... My computer got a virus last night... Well, actually it had about half a dozen viruses in 29 files!! So, now its almost completely fucked... I'm lucky to be able to do this much... Well, not much new has happened in the life of Alex... I completely screwed myself over the other day I bet.... I told a girl that i liked for awhile that I have a crush on her... I'm sure it'll just bow up in my face... maybe i did it just so it would screw me... psychomasachism maybe my worst enemy... So, it wouldnt ben a porblem really (ya know, besides hearing the I only like you as a firend speech again...) except she has a boyfirend, so now it cant just be a small thing that sucks, its gonna be a big bomb... Whatever...
I feel bad for my friend Drew... He got dumped because he "wasent bringing her any closer to God" what a bullshit reason... but then thats what ppl say when I tell them why I was dumped, so what do I know? Hes pretty hurt... He was really close to her he said... I hope hes okay...
Monday, October 29th, 2001
8:45 pm
Lack of completion
If Timberly taught me anything, and she taught me most of what I care about, she taught me that I shouldn't allow my problems to just go on without any effort to correct them. In that vein, I tried to confront Kyleah today and tell her how I felt... She wasn't in school (which is just as well, I wasn't gonna make us both look stupid by fighting). So, I kinda forgot about it until about two hours ago. At that point I decided to walk to her house (about three quarters of a mile, maybe a tad bit less) so I set off. I was working on a kick arse speech, and thinking of what to say if she said this or that, and just having my thoughts as usual... When I got to the house I saw the most shocking scenario. I hadn't even conceived it possible. No one was home...
I had figured Kyleah would be at home recovering from sickness, but I guess not. Well, I walked home figuring at least I got some exercise.
When I got home, my little sister told me maybe she was at work... another possibility that I completely overlooked in place of her supposed illness.
So, I went to her work (running to make sure I'd catch her on the way out). I made it in time to find out that she took the day off... So whatever... I guess I'll just have to talk to her tomorrow...
Today I designed an improvement for the technical schools water boiler... Odd how Eric Bell and I do it instead of a pro or something.
Ohh well, I guess I'll have the results of our confrontation tomorrow...

Current Mood: confused
Saturday, October 27th, 2001
9:35 pm
I am so pissed off right now....
On the happy side first, I just talked to Timberly a little, and that was good. Told her how I still wanted to be with her, cause despite everyone on here telling me I should move on or some variation, I still love her.
Now, the really angry shit... Missy, my first fuck, and sadly that's about all she ever was, is still talking about me... Its like a year later! We went out like 4 months! Seriously, shes crazy... Jason can support me on that point, he knows her pretty well, or at least gets babbled at often. What the fuck?? I'm so angry I'm at a loss for words. I hate this shit! Every girl in the world seems out to get me!! (More on this later...) So now I have to talk to all my friends who know her... No one has told me about it until today (well, I knew about it at first, then I assumed she stopped) thanks J! At least someone tells me shit I should know! I thought maybe you (J) had decayed into an amoral dreg of society when he updated me on his life for a moment... But then I realized that hes doing something for him and no one else... That's what timeberly is (claiming to be??) doing... Nothing really wrong with that, at least as long as its temporary.... he must still have a trace of descend however (hope I'm not offending you with this J...)... A little less angry now... just normal levels of anger... I don't know if I like being angry better than depressed... anger makes me feel out of control. Depression merely makes me feel like a complete failure...
Its odd how things work in cycles... I was depressed cause of Tiffani (never admitted it) when I met Timberly, and she wanted to help me get over whatever was the matter with me (I didn't tell her)... Now I'm depressed casue of Timberly, and Tiffani is trying to help... I wonder if Tiffani will make me better, then fuck me up, then timberly will come to the rescue..? That would be a bit odd... Ohh yeah, Timberly is the ex I love and want back, in case I didn't say earlier and ppl are confused...
And on another tangent, when I said that Missy was my first fuck and that was all... I didn't go out with her with the intention of just fucking her and not caring... It wasn't like that at all really: I went out with her cause she liked me and I didn't NOT like her so I figured 'why not?' It was a big mistake, but without her, who knows what could be different... I just never started loving her like I thought... She was pretty kewl, but I noticed she was sorta crazy, and she was really hostile to ppl. It bothered me that she had so much hate... So I dumped her eventually, it was really hard and I kept putting it off... wait! I think she may have dumped me... I don't remember. I do know that she wanted me back, but I refused... what was I just saying...? Ohh yeah, it just sorta happened that we fucked ad I never really loved her... yes, I'm sorta a bastard, but I was just going along with her, and I thought there was no harm in it.
Well, now shes still taking about me.. goddamn... that's annoying.

Now about how the entire nation of girls has allied against me! Well, its obviously not true unless (until?) tiffani stabs me in the back too... But its pretty sucky none the less: theres: Kyleah, Missy, Timberly, and Kim. That's just ppl who have fucked me over recently, like within a couple days. Actually timberly hasn't really done anything in the last few days, but if the girls hadn't allied against me, shed still be with me, and not being with me is kinda like screwing me over... Sorta... In any case! Missy was covered... Kim! Lead me on, only for me to discover she didn't like me, etc. that's all said also... Kyleah is the big thing...

I found out a lot about my "friend" ::sneer:: Kyleah as it happens talks about ppl behind their backs almost constantly... Something she claims to despise (not that 'despise' is in her vocabulary) Hypocrisy, anyone? She acts all nice to ppls faces... Ehh, I don't wanna talk about this now... I'll put it in later...

Current Mood: enraged
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